I haven’t always been the home educating mom of one.  At one time, I was a classroom teacher of, if not many, at least several children.  After more than seven years in the classroom, I now have five years of homeschooling under my belt.  It was not necessarily an easy transition going from teaching a few to teaching only one. Truly, there are some differences in teaching only one.  Here are some things I’ve learned so far from teaching my only child.

First, getting schooling done is not necessarily the most important thing. 

One of the first things I noticed is that unlike a having a few students, if you have one student, and she acts up, nothing gets done.  When I was in the classroom, I could work around a student with a bad attitude and allow the rest of the class to keep on learning.  That doesn’t work when it’s your only student!

I used to get frustrated with this.  I wanted to get “school” done.  I realized, however, that dealing with an attitude or behavior issue was more important than finishing a lesson.  Building character is just as much a lesson as completing a curriculum.  Practicing submission and self-control will see her through life in a way that practicing the multiplication tables never will.  In fact, the ability to mold my child for God’s use is one of the benefits of educating at home!  I had to learn to embrace it as an opportunity rather than an interruption.

Second, one is worth the effort.

When I taught in the classroom, I would often make awesome review games and do cool projects.  It was worth the effort because I knew I would use them over and over.  I confess that sometimes it doesn’t seem worth the effort for just one.  It’s not like I would be able to use it over and over since I only have one.

But then I have to kick myself.  The Good Shepherd was more than willing to serve one little lamb, who am I to deny my little lamb?  One is worth the effort.  Now I will admit that things may not be as big or flamboyant, but that’s because it’s in my dining room or living room and not in a room I can leave behind at the end of the day!

Third, I’m the mom, not a private playmate and tutor.

Now before you get upset, of course I spend time playing and coloring with my daughter.  What I’m talking about is how easy it is to not learn independence in learning because I’m right by her side.  When you have more than one child, they have to learn that their time with you is shared.  That’s something that has to be taught to an only child.

It would be so easy just to sit at the table and walk her through everything, but that’s not going to help her in the long run.  One of the things I do to remedy this is to explain something and ask her to work on it while I do something else like dishes, folding clothes, etc.  I’m available but not at her beck and call.  Another thing I’ve done is to make a small basket of things she can do on her own before the day officially begins.  It might include some penmanship or copy work, math review sheet, or reading.  She really likes getting a head start on her work and this gives her the chance to work independently as well.

Fourth, socialization isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 

I’m not attempting to socialize my child to fit into society.  In fact, I don’t want my daughter to fit into this society.  I’m attempting to help my child grow relationships first with God and then with others.  I do that by allowing her natural opportunities to get to know people.  Sure, sometimes that’s within a structured activity such as church or ballet class, but other times it is just hanging out with some friends.

One thing I haven’t done is worry about providing enough opportunity.  I figure as long as we are participating in the things God wants us to do, He’s going to bring the opportunities along.  After all, He wants what’s best for her even more than I do. Adding activities just to “make sure” she’s being socialized doesn’t serve to benefit her or our family.  It only serves to make us busier.

I know I still have a lot to learn when it comes to educating my daughter.  Hopefully, I’ll learn it all before she’s finished with high school!  I do try to remember that working on her character is more important than getting through the curriculum.  I work on doing projects and review games because even one child is worth the effort.  I try to be there for her and yet help her grow in independence.  Thankfully, I try to keep us active and social without being busy just for the sake of socialization.

The last thing I do is pray.  I pray that she would increase “in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” just like Jesus did.  But I’m sure that’s the prayer of any mother, no matter how many children she has!