In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, we asked Shari Popejoy to share some thoughts on marriage with us. Shari and Marc Popejoy have been making sparks fly for almost twenty-eight years. Their marriage has been the catalyst for some great chemical reactions over the years, producing her first book, Won Without Words, a book about God’s restoration power for marriages through I Peter 3:1. Since then Shari has written six more books, including 100 Days To My Anniversary!, which is the topic of her one-hundred day blog series between Valentines Day and their twenty-eighth anniversary in June. If you would like to journey with her and receive daily encouragement, marriage enhancing tips, and be part of a challenging journey to a greater marriage, sign up at the 100 Days to my Anniversary Facebook page, or get more information at blog.wonwithoutwords.com 

 He Rocks My World

Why, you might ask, did God yoke me with this man? Is this a sick joke, an example of God’s sense of humor, to bear witness as I stood at the altar of commitment, looking down upon me in my pure white naivete? Me — thinking we were a perfect match, and then He — tightening the cords of “I do” around my wrists as tight as any shackles of servitude known to man.

Did He laugh sadistically as the bonds of matrimony tightened around my neck like a noose, as the ring was slipped on my finger as effectively as any ring in a bull’s nose for controlling and leading about, indentured forever to submission – or at least ’til death do us part? Did He laugh at my vow to obey, knowing I was committing to a choice between heresy or loss of integrity?

Or did He cry a tear with all the wise women who knew the meaning of for better or worse, in good times and bad? Because there have been plenty of both.

So why, God, did you yoke me to this man who is so different from me? Would it not have been more effective to bind me to an equal? A sentient soul mate? Someone more harmonious and gentle, more in tune with my soul’s song? Someone more like — me?

If we were more alike, could we not be more unified? If we had similar thoughts and more equal ideas, would we not be a more powerful force, as two pulling together are stronger than two pulling separately? Is peace not better than appease, placid superior to provocation?

Is it for my growth? This fiery flashing of metal upon metal? Can we sharpen one another, or will we shatter under the blows of forceful wills clashing and sparking? Can I not grow with stability, stasis, sameness? Do I need this tumultuous tempest in order to embrace peace be still?

It is the pull of sunlight that causes the seed to burst from its cask in the ground. It is the pull of orbit that keeps the planets circling the sun. It is the taskmaster of evaporation that keeps the earth watered. It is the invisible force of electrical magnetism that keeps the atoms from spinning apart – my atoms, my world. Do I need that constant conflict, too?

I fear I must have the push and pull of equal, yet different to keep me in balance. Must I have occasional imbalance to keep me centered? What keeps my world orbiting when it is rocked at the core? Must I have the heat of adversity to keep me from the chill of status quo? Must I have the pulling away to keep the cleaving unto? For cleaving is what I require, what I desire.

Positive and negative, the power of polar opposites, the chemistry of a synthesis reaction, the beauty of male and female, created He them. You did this, God. On purpose. And You called it very good.

How dull and boring would be my properly ordered monotonously mundane, deliciously dreary, doldrummy days of blearingly boring existence without that annoying man to keep things stirred up with his demanding friction and barbs of expectations and – his wild whiskers. Oh, wonderful whiskery weather beaten man, catching me off guard with his wacky wit, moving me to tears with his unexpected gentleness, surprising me with his sentimental sappiness, precariously rocking the boat with his adventurous antics.

Oh, we two are not what we used to be. In our coming together of two equal, but different elements, a covalent bonding has occurred. We have been changed by the power that holds us together. The force of metal upon metal has sharpened us both. It is the force of our extreme differences, pulling against the covalent bond of I do, within the powerful orbit of the I AM, that produces the energy that holds us together.

And when I feel the energy start to wane, feel the magnetism faltering, fear the chemistry is gone, he somehow manages to stir things up with his unpredictable, wildly manly ways. I pull back from the prickly whiskers, the bristly barbs, and try to turn away, and he pulls me close, and rocks my world, and the mere act of attempted dichotomy, causes us to pull together again. Oh yes, he rocks my world, keeps me centered in my orbit, shows me I’m alive, and what a chemical reaction there is when the sparks fly!

You can find a review of Shari’s book 100 Days to My Anniversary at our review site. Enjoy!

Now it’s your turn! Are you and your spouse very similar or very different? How does this affect your marriage?