How an Abortion Saved the Lives of Many

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Written by: Guest Writer

When I was 19, I found out I was pregnant for the third time. A miscarriage, a two year old, and pregnant… once again. I was homeless, living with friends, and, in spite of my “Christian” upbringing, I was convinced the only solution was abortion. My boyfriend agreed to take me to the abortion clinic. On the appointed day, while I was waiting for him to pick me up, I got a call saying he could not take me after all because he had been picked up and formally charged with 2nd degree murder. At the time, that sort of ruined my day.

Then I started jumping through hoops. My insurance wouldn’t pay for an abortion and nobody I knew had the money to loan. And the crazy thing was, I knew I didn’t want to get an abortion. But I let myself be convinced that it was necessary. And, as surprising as this might sound, before my attempt to get to the abortion clinic, I had gone outside on an apartment balcony and cried my eyes out and apologizing to the little life inside me for what I was planning to do.

So there I was; a total loser with no idea of what to do. The father of the baby was in jail and I had no ride and no money to end the pregnancy. And then a friend called. She knew I was pregnant and urged me to call a Crisis Pregnancy Center. Out of desperation, I did. I told them my situation – that I was homeless, that I had a two year old I could barely take care of, and that I was feeling pretty desperate. To my amazement, they had a solution. There was a family who had built dorms on their little farm so that they could offer a home to girls exactly like me. So I packed up my two-year-old along with my meager belongings and moved in Kim and her family.

That’s where my life truly began to change. This family had three young children of their own, one of them with Down syndrome and leukemia, yet it didn’t stop them from pouring their lives into a very nasty, uneducated, selfish, messed up, trashy teenager.

I was unlovable, and yet they loved me. They led by example and their patience was supernatural.

Shortly after I arrived the “house mom,” Kim, told me why they invested so much money and time to make themselves available for girls like me. When she was my age, she had been in the same situation, but no crisis pregnancy center or willing family had come forward to help her. So she had an abortion. The abortion so devastated her emotionally and psychologically that she swore afterwards she would do everything in her power to help other girls avoid the tragic mistake she had made. Truly, “God uses all things for the good for those who love him” (Romans 8:28).

It was in the late eighties and early nineties when champions like Wendy Wright (who later became the president for Concerned Women for America) made a national stand by peacefully praying in front of abortion clinics around the country — and getting arrested for such efforts. God used groups of ‘pro-life’ people, who didn’t necessarily know if they could do anything that would make a real difference (but stood up anyways). These groups began expanding awareness, educating communities, and offering alternatives and real-life solutions for these moms. As they did this, families like Kim’s began stepping up to help.

Time moved on slowly at the maternity home, yet it went quickly as well. I found out I was having a son. I began to feel him move around and kick. I would lie in bed and have panic attacks thinking how close I came to ending his life. As he grew, my love for him grew. How could I give this little fellow away? But how could I keep him in the position I was in? Through counseling at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, I chose an open adoption and began interviewing possible parents.

Then I heard about the Fletchers, a couple that wasn’t even looking to adopt. They had already adopted a little boy. I had looked through scores of portfolios of couple who longed for children, but none of them had seemed quite right. I still can’t explain why, but I knew I needed to meet Fletchers.

I met Glenda at a park, and I knew as I walked toward her that she was to be my son’s mom. I later met her husband and got to know them better. I saw how much they loved God and loved each other. Even though I didn’t truly know God at the time, I knew that He was orchestrating the story. I was absolutely doing what had been pre-planned by Him.

When Aaron was born – well, what can I say? The tears are already coming again as I write this. Of course it was overwhelmingly painful. Is there anything worse than the loss of a child? The nurses at the hospital were very kind. They set me up in a private room after he was born so I could avoid the eyes and cheery conversation of other new moms. At one point a nurse came in to check on me. She said, “I’ll get your son if you want to hold him. He’s still yours until tomorrow.” I shook my head and she seemed a little perplexed. Finally I broke down in sobs and told her that if I were to hold him in my arms I knew I could never let him go. Adoption isn’t easy. It’s a better choice, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.
After recovering at the hospital I went back home with the family who had faithfully walked with me through the last seven months. I returned empty-handed, yet not empty. I had seen a glimpse of God.

Throughout those months, I saw the kindness, mercy and provision of Christ. I got an inkling of God’s sovereignty. Another year would pass until I understood His Lordship and the call to obey. But God Himself had reached down to pull me out of the sewage. He had begun fashioning an entirely new person out of me.

I wasn’t the one who picked Aaron’s parents – God was, and what a gracious choice He made. The Fletchers faithfully sent photos and updates over the years, and they recently brought Aaron to re-unite with me and his siblings. We have continued to get to know each other and are building a wonderful new relationship now that he’s an adult. What amazing grace! We serve a good and kind God. My youngest son still asks me if we can “go get his big brother back so he can live with us.” I respond by telling him, “No, son, God made Aaron a ‘Fletcher’, but He was kind enough to let me be a part of the process.”

God really does use all things for good. All things. He even used an abortion to stir up a family to extend His grace to a broken desperate girl. I thank God for His goodness. I thank Him for Kim, who did not let the mistakes in her life bury her with grief or guilt. Instead she handed that tragedy back to God and let herself be used for His glory.

In my story, a baby was saved. But it goes deeper than that. Because of the love, grace and witness of Kim’s family, that baby’s mom – that’s me – was also saved. And when I was saved, I began to teach my little daughter about God. After I was married, the five children that followed also learned of God and His amazing Grace. My prayer is that their children will hear the same story and glorify their Father in Heaven.

I pray that God will raise up others like Wendy Wright, Kim, and the Fletchers – not only to help save the lives of babies, but also to save the lives of their mothers.

What can you do to help? Pray! Think about volunteering at a Crisis Pregnancy Center. Not everybody is in a position to start a home for unwed mothers, but we can support those who have! A great choice would be making a one time, or even an ongoing, donation to Living Hope of the Ozarks. Burdened with a desire to follow God’s call on their lives, Nathan and Kimberly Staples undertook the great commission of creating a loving, home-like environment in which young women and teens struggling with a crisis pregnancy may find hope, healing, and restoration through the power of Jesus Christ. Their desire is to prepare and equip these young women to be successful as mothers and members of their communities. Check or cash donations may be sent to Living Hope of the Ozarks 45 Wyatte Lane Fair Grove, MO 65648 or visit their website at http://livinghopeozarks.org/

Curious about the title? You can now head over to a follow up blog post to learn more about Jen’s story, and why she chose this title.

Jenefer Igarashi is married to Geoff the Great and a homeschool momsie to six kids They’ve been homeschooling since 1995. She’s socially awkward, somewhat unorganized and continually fails, but is saved and redeemed by the Sovereign Grace of God through Christ.

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About the Author

Guest Writer

Home Educating Family knows the worth of inviting guests to write for our blog. Each guest brings experience, knowledge, and insight to help our readers along the journey known as life. Some are homeschool veterans, and others do not have children. Many are experts in their field or have valuable life experience that can help others, and we appreciate our guests’ willingness to share with our readers. We also realize our guests may not agree with us on everything. If something they wrote makes you curious about what we believe, you can visit our mission statement and statement of faith.