Today we have an excerpt from Heidi St. John’s book The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance. At the end you will find a link to a review and giveaway of her book!

It’s almost Valentine’s Day! Oh the bliss! Love is in the air. Or at least chocolate and candy sales are up… How’s your marriage doing, homeschool mom?

A thriving marriage is absolutely key to successful homeschooling. It’s the glue that will hold you together when you think you can’t take one more second of adjectives and multiplication problems. Not only that, but if you take the time to nurture your marriage above (yes, that’s right) all the other relationships in your home, you will find as your children leave your home, you and your husband still have things to talk about. And you might even look forward to some alone time at the end of a busy day. Ahhhh. The end of the day. But that’s in The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Daylight. 

Reality Check

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and kick our discussion off with a strong statement. Are you ready? Here it is: I think homeschoolers are really good at pretending. It’s so easy for busy homeschooling moms to buy into the myth that they should have it all together – when the reality is that this side of heaven, no one has it all together. We like to pretend our marriages are perfect and we think it encourages others when they hear about our successes instead of our struggles. But it’s not true. We encourage each other by walking out faith in the midst of trials.

True encouragement is found in staying the course when we’re struggling and passing that along to another mom who needs to hear what you’ve been learning as you follow the Lord in this life. Homeschool mom, it’s time to get real. And the reality is that life is difficult. As Jesus said so well in John 16:33 (NIV), “In this world, you will have trouble!”

Maybe it doesn’t sound very spiritual, but for all the homeschooling books out there and the excellent resources that are available, the reality is that homeschooling makes marriage more challenging, not less. Before you start looking up my e-mail address, let me say I think homeschooling is worth the effort – and you should not have to sacrifice your marriage to do it.

Parenting is also a lot of work. Many mothers have sacrificed their marriages on the altar of good parenting. The same thing can be true of homeschooling. But when we place our children as the priority of our time and energy at the expense of our husbands, we’re missing God’s heart for the home. The priority is the marriage.

Firm Foundation

God says marriage is the primary relationship in the home – so naturally, it’s the first relationship the Enemy will try to tear down. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us, “Satan prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” I like to visualize this lion, prowling around outside our home. Whenever my husband and I find ourselves at odds with each other, I try to remember that lion. The imagery of scripture is a powerful tool.

I know you all know this, but I feel compelled to say it again: Homeschoolers are not immune to divorce. Whether you’ve been through a divorce in your family or you’re trying to restore balance to your home and marriage, you must not forget this truth. Why? Because everything in your home depends on nurturing your marriage. Feeling immune to divorce is arrogant – and it sets us up for failure because when we feel like it can never happen, we let our guard down.

And a home left unguarded is a home in trouble.

You can find a review of Heidi’s book The Busy Homeschooling Mom’s Guide to Romance at our review site. Enjoy!

Now it’s your turn! What is a way that you guard your marriage? Leave your suggestions in the comments!